holiday baking at the orphanage

sister nun, of the above, baking cookies with little orphan magpie, 1985

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it's getting to be that time of year--certainly the mostly reverend's favorite time--when the old stone ovens at the orphanage are working nearly around the clock, pumping out what has become, over the years and thanks to the generosity of our thousands of supporters and friends, our biggest fund-raising effort of the year: our annual zappadan holiday cookie sale.

for nearly 50 years, our little angels of the kitchen have skipped school, living on nothing but french roast and bennies, and have baked cookies-to-order for now upwards of 8,000 dozens cookies, all for delivery according to the scripture, which reads:

"Zappadan, unlike some of the other festivals, does not start the day Wal-Mart puts out the decorations. It starts on December 4, in honor of the sad day in 1993 when the modern day composer, Frank Zappa, refused to die for the last time. It ends on December 21, in honor of the day he was born. There is no messy Advent, no Lent, no Passover, or any of those complicated events that entangle the Christian calendar for the whole fucking year. Its end is closer to the Winter Solstice than Christmas and you can forget about it after that. No ashes on your forehead, speaking in tongues, or silly rituals involving not enough wine to get you ripped and silly dry wafers that stick to the roof of your mouth."

"And, during each day of Zappadan, a miracle will happen..."

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our miracle, the daily miracle of zappadan, is gift of a dozen orphan-baked cookies. place your orders in the comments section below.

and prepare to be moved.